Come to the calm of a well functioning brain.
One of the words that I include in my vocabulary about who I am and what kind of person I want to be surround with is, "Integrity." I have been in situations that I wish I would have had a better compass to navigate the climate. Here are a few of the ideas that I found in Psychology Today.
#1. Don't try to fix the person. I know that you want to help, but let it be. Accept them as they are. If you see that the person is trying to make an effort and they are asking for your opinion then that is your cue.
#2. Be present and direct. This person could be ready for a conflict. Do you feel that your heart is racing and your breathing is faster, then calm down and be direct and assertive. If the conversation is getting heated, excuse yourself, the time is not right.
#3. Encourage the person to express himself. Show respect for the person and just let them talk about their views. Do not try to interject. Do not include your personal story now, maybe later. How have they felt judged or criticized? Keep listening, maybe that is all that they need.
#4. Watch for triggers or off-limits topics. Is there a history of topics that are leading to a dead end again? Then sometimes that subject needs to be left on the back burner until the timing is right.
#5. It's not about you, usually. Be aware of taking things personally. When you feel attacked or blamed, step back and consider and observe what is going on with you and the other person that is involved. Many times in this kind of situation the other person is trying to get a response about something specific, can you find the subject that is in the background? If you feel attacked then the conversation can deteriorate quickly. It is good to leave the conversation if it is escalating.
#6. Know your boundaries. If you do not want a person in your space, make that agreement with yourself. You do not have to keep the difficult person happy and satisfied.
#7. Be prepared. If there is going to be a situation where you will be challenged, then find people that you can have around you that will be supportive. Find a way to avoid the one who incites and aggravates.
LENS will not take the challenging people away from you. It can help to keep the brain in a relaxed and balanced state.
Hello, my name is Dana Lee Collins M.A.,L.P.C. I am a psychotherapist that has been trained in the art of neurofeedback. This science helps to heal the brain of trauma. I am dedicated to helping people heal.