Giving up....

What to give up?  I keep clearing the space in my home.  I wonder if I should sell it and move to a climate that is more forgiving.  I just keep clearing it out.  It has an accumulation of many years of things.  My husband that has died.  He left many things behind that have taken years to get cleaned out.  His memory, his smell, his way of protecting me.  I don't want to leave a mess behind.  I look around at the familiar things and wish them to be gone.  And then I hang on. 
What do I do with this memory and knowledge?  Do I give up and walk away from all of this and friends that have little time to give?  This grief still hangs on.  The many trials that have come with living in this house.  The mountains that I have loved. hold little pull..  This grief brings me to my knees and tugs me with it's persistent voice.  I want to get away but it takes me over and insists on holding on.  I am not sure what life will have me do.  I keep working with the life that I have.  My teachers echo in my head and say persevere.  This part of life will pass.  I will go on.  I will learn about all of these feelings and thoughts that want to have a voice.  They are part of me.  And then I let them go. 

LENS helps to balance the brain.  We will still have emotions and challenges, they just get a little easier to handle.