Come to the calm of a well functioning brain.
We all crave approval and fear the truth. Critical feedback feels traumatic because it threatens two of our most fundamental psychological needs, safety and worth. Safety needs can be material, physical, and worth can be part of the self-repect, self-regard and self-confidence spectrum.
When we feel that our financial, relationship, or physical needs are being threaten, then there is fear. However, in most cases, except with abuse, it is our defensive, combative, or resentful response to feedback that puts us at risk, more than the feedback itself.
So with our self-worth, learning the truth is beneficial. It can provoke shame, fear and anger. We live with an undercurrent of terror that we aren't worthy and feedback risks pointing this out. (Especially from our loved ones)
Studies have shown that the feedback hurts worse when there is a malicious motive. But what gets us hooked in, is the craving of approval from people that we consider powerful in our lives. We want approval and positive endorsement so that we don't feel inadequate.
The key to finding the truth, is to understand the negative feedback and how it affects us. It requires us to take responsibility for our own safety and worth. This means that learning is always beneficial. If the feedback is difficult, learn to take your time and step out if you need to. When people lash out and attack back then the wound only gets bigger. This article was written from the Harvard Business Review. They are taking people that have had life problems and using this strategy to help them to recover from major life problems.
LENS neurofeedback can help with the reactivity that all of us have when our safety or self-worth is challenged. It smooths things out.
Hello, my name is Dana Lee Collins M.A.,L.P.C. I am a psychotherapist that has been trained in the art of neurofeedback. This science helps to heal the brain of trauma. I am dedicated to helping people heal.