Come to the calm of a well functioning brain.
What happens when people have a hard time with being told that they are working things out in life in a manner that is disruptive. They (or we) tend to blame the behavior on the person that is talking to them. This is called diverting the behavior back to the person that is talking to them. They will defend their behavior and usually project some part of it back to the other person. They will deny the behavior and will find anything to attack you. They will disengage and not want to talk about it or walk away. If the issue is hot, it is usually good to walk away, but always tell the person that you will get back to them at a certain time.
What is at the base of this behavior is a feeling of being vulnerable. They feel insecure and have a fragile ego. They are being taken hostage of their defense mechanisms.
So how to get around this circus of behaviors? It could be hard but first of all you need to acknowledge how they are feeling. You are feeling this way because of....... The next thing to do is to not let them off of the hook. You need to acknowledge in a genuine manner what they are feeling but they cannot keep doing the behavior because you understand the inside story. They are feeling vulnerable because of.... and we know that it is because of this you are doing this. I hope that this helps.
LENS neurofeedback can help the brain to become less reactive. Give it a try.
Hello, my name is Dana Lee Collins M.A.,L.P.C. I am a psychotherapist that has been trained in the art of neurofeedback. This science helps to heal the brain of trauma. I am dedicated to helping people heal.