Come to the calm of a well functioning brain.
I have been reading a good deal about Nonviolent Communication. This approach is good at finding the needs and emotions that are underneath anger. I am intrigued with the concept of acceptance that is involved with this program. We are taught to learn to sit back and assess our anger before we respond to someone else. We need to get in touch with our own needs and emotions before we can have empathy for another. So we are silent as we wait to see what is at the bottom of these needs and emotions. We need to take care of ourselves, first to be able to respond with empathy. When we respond from this place we are acknowledging everyone's needs and emotions and not just our own.
I hope that this makes sense. I think that we need to have more calm with people in the world instead of running with our emotions and running over others. LENS calms the brain, so we can function better without drugs.
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I found an article in The Atlantic about America's Invisible Pot Addicts. It is well written. I usually loose people on this subject. I have a personal interest because of my family and some of my friends. So please bear with me.
I just read an article in The Guardian. It is about communication again. The article is about a couple from Wales that has learned how to communicate with terrorists and teenagers. The whole premise of these way of communication is that we need to get our ego out of the way. We need to learn to understand that the person that we are trying to communicate with needs to know that we are not trying to put them in a one down position. As we know, we feel that way when we are in a position of trying to communicate with someone that is perceived as having more authority. We learn in the movies that it is intimidation that rules the day, but in real life that is not the way that it works.
So here are some animal communication styles that we tend to go to:
I know that I like my job using the LENS neurofeedback system, I hope that I can help. I just read an article about ECT or electoconvulsive therapy in Psychology Today. We have been using this form of therapy for the last 80 years. According this this article this form of therapy should be stopped immediately until further research has been conducted. Dr. John Read from the UK published in Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry their analysis of the 11 studies that have been conducted on ECT. All of the studies were done before 1985 and in a poor manner. There is opposition to this study saying that it has saved lives and helped with depression. The authors of this paper could find not evidence to support these statements. ECT does cause memory loss and impaired thinking. Perhaps that is why the patient is seen as improved. I have had my concerns about this form of therapy. It is very strong and debilitating.
LENS by contrast is a gentle effective treatment that shows significant improvement with depression and anxiety. If you know of anyone that is having trouble please send them my way. Follow these 4 basic steps outlined by Dr Marshall Rosenberg, founder and director of educational services for The Center for Nonviolent Communication, to practice NVC:
I have a good deal of admiration for the late Marshall B. Rosenberg. He created a system of communication that works. It is called Nonviolent Communication.
LENS can help us to be able to be clear about what we need, without all of the old triggers. Join me. What if we can learn that the undesirable or bad emotions are something that we can feel? That they do not need to be medicated away. What if we learned that mental health is not the absence of mental pain? What if we can learn to have a meaningful, bumpy life.
Please understand that some people do need help with debilitating emotional states of anxiety, depression, etc. Anxiety is our perception that bad stuff will happen, but how are we going to handle it? Brene Brown praises vulnerability, struggle and adversity. She teaches that hope is what we learn from struggle. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that the lotus flower cannot bloom without the mud. Kelly Mcgonigal a Health Psychologist at Stanford studies how we can learn that the stress response is good. Oh, my heart rate is going up, that means that I am ready for this challenge. This is stuff that gives me the good juice. LENS helps with the reactive process. It calms the brain down. It helps with taking a step back. It looks as though we are heading into some more isolation. When we are alone the brain stays in a state of alert. I know that mine has. This creates a multitude of problems.
LENS can help you to feel better. It calms you down and helps you to focus. Would you like to learn a few tricks about how to get a good conversation going, even if your feeling anger or frustration at the time.
First of all don't assume that you know the other persons intent.
Give LENS a try. It helps with depression, anxiety and the need to fight back. I just read an article about illusions in Vox. https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/20978285/optical-illusion-science-humility-reality-polarization. Neuroscience is studying how we perceive the world and our bias. Our reality can be viewed on many different levels. But is this reality the same for all involved. We have all been raised in different environments and have different preferences. We can all see things in a different way. I believe that the trick is to check in with the other person to see if what they are seeing, feeling and understanding can parallel with our understanding, seeing and feeling.
I just spent the morning with a dear friend. She came to help me clean out some hazardous waste. We had to drive to another part of town, about an hour away. We are people that perceive the world in very different ways. She is very organized, everything is stripped down and she cooks on a certain day. I have a haphazard way of approaching life. My house can always use some more organization. I cook when the mood strikes me. My clothes are varied and sometimes frilly. Yet, I find great comfort being with her. Her generosity is beautiful, she is intelligent and gifted. I sincerely appreciate her willingness to help me. We research how we perceive the world and enjoy the differences. LENS can help you with anxiety, depression and whatever else is getting you off centered. |
AuthorHello, my name is Dana Lee Collins M.A.,L.P.C. I am a psychotherapist that has been trained in the art of neurofeedback. This science helps to heal the brain of trauma. I am dedicated to helping people heal. Archives
January 2021
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